Even if this guy wants to be with you for the rest of his life, his kids might not be ready for it. Nothing about what you have written says walking through fire — more like shagging you and throwing you back in the fire and then telling you that he needs to cut you off for your own good. It took a while to see it all with a clear and logical insight. He may even throw out suggestions for how you should live your life. I had all the information I needed.
Interestingly enough, those suggestions relate directly back to his ex. Thanks Natalie for being a voice of reason and stopping the awful train of thoughts going through my head. So you're a guy, let's call him Smeorge Shlooney, and everything is going great—except for one teeny, tiny, little hiccup: You're not always sure he's 100 percent over his ex. But trust me when I tell you, down the road, he is going to find things he misses his ex doing. Either way, it's going to drive you insane. While I cannot speak for him, the only thing that has kept me from finalizing my divorce is money.
This woman I worked with was shocked to hear he was married because all those years they worked together he never told anyone he was married. I did accept the secrecy the first year, but over 4 years of being left out of important events is painful. It's like when you're in high school and you have a crush on a guy; you'll find every excuse to talk about him, no matter how crazy you're driving the people around you. You also might want to read my article on as it offers more things to think about as your consider whether to stay or go. We've all felt like we're competing with an ex. Honestly both men and women need to time to themselves to grieve or put into perspective what happened and how to move on.
But as a child, under those circumstances, I had to resort to that kind of thinking. It would depend on the context. Instead she got what she deserved like the woman who stole my first husband. If he is talking about his ex all the time, that is a quick and easy way to tell that he really misses her. Now I have to be strong enough to forget about it all. He's also going to compare you to his ex. Who wants to waste time with a jerk, loser, or much, much worse when, at the tap of a button you have a wealth of information.
I think you have some kind of personal bias to do that. But in the end i had to push cause he was doing nothing about it! But I really encourage you to think about what makes you happy and what is the kind of life that you really want? Marriage was long, just over 20 years — we married just out of college. Better things await, even better than my old self and your old self. I was so hurt and furious, now I trying to forgive but I want revenge so bad because he did all that for nothing and to top it off I never did anything but been honest and straightforward with him. So You Smoke,So you have fears,So you had a breakdown…You are still a deserving person,You are worth more than this Ass… I am sorry if I have offended you,not my intention…. What are your non-negotiables when it comes to relationships and what do you need in a relationship in order for it to really work for you? Maybe he's comparing your profession to hers, or her fashion and decorating styles to yours. Simone Becchetti He's not wrong for mourning the loss of his relationship, but if that's the case, then he shouldn't be attempting new relationships or leading unsuspecting women on.
Natalie, The last three posts are great companion pieces. He seemed puzzled that one of them did not keep contact with him after getting married lol. We are very casual, but do not see anyone else. Please help me, I hope you understand what I am saying. You know, we can go down the Narcissism route, the poor Attachment Style route, we can read self help books great help sometimes , seek counselling…all good, and adds to recovery. I fulfilled the being separated for a full year requirement, and even though I've done that, I'm being made to jump through hoops to prove that I stayed away for that one full year because it's truly what I want and recognized I needed to do to move on and as usual, everything comes down to finances and that sucks! She was left deserted with his six children to look after by herself. He is temporarily living at home with his Mom and has been dealing with health setbacks.
I realised that this would bother him because in his mind it would be something he could manipulate her with to get his way because he is the kind of person who everything has to be his way and only his interests served at the expense of the interests of his wife - no give and take whatsoever from him, which is why our marriage broke down and then destroyed by taking up with another woman who desperately wants what is not hers. And I need to stop wishing for that. He compares you to her Ever get into any arguments? And I have to agree on your original point~both of these men high-tailed it away from me without so much as a backward glance. Now i fully believe he never got over her. He has been divorced over 40 years. As you know, life is complicated and people come with baggage.
We really connected from the beginning, shared lots of same believes, and points on life. I recently got asked out by a guy I barely know but we have mutual friends. There's also a chance that the holidays were the first time that she met his family so thinking of these memories could also make him upset. I often thought if the roles were reversed, I would have bailed much sooner than he did. In the beginning, I was skeptical of him due to the fact I did not want a relationship just a sex buddy.
I once googled a guy I was interested in, who mutual friends also thought I should get together with, and found out that he was a closet gay. Again, makes no sense to me here. Now, that may be true or he did not like what I looked like. Not getting over your ex is completely natural, but it's not natural to continue to date if you haven't given yourself time to grieve. Nothing is worse than meeting a cool new guy, but getting the sinking feeling that he might not be over his ex.
I do believe that 50% of singles should not be dating, working on self-healing. Remember, ladies, there are three sides to every story: His side, her side, and what really happened. Before my breakdown, we had an amazing time together and I know he would still rather have sex with me than anyone else. However it shows up, it shows up as a preoccupation with her and the past. This is a way she stays tied to him. Then the fool used my computer in my house to communicate with his ex.